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Top funny source code comments

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Some funny comments from different codes found around the net:

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/*
 * OK; before you read the following code know what I am trying to do.
 * I needed to get the list of child catagories from the root node so that
 * the root node didn't appear in the selection box. But for some stupid
 * fucking reason the stupid fucking DBA wont let me access the items using
 * indices and I instead have to use their stupid fucking Iterator
 * implementation. So there.
 */
$firstList = $this->getRootNode()->getChildren();
foreach ($firstList as $node)
{
    $nodes = $node->getChildren();
    break;                // wtf?
}
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// if i ever see this again i'm going to start bringing guns to work

[Read more…]

Star Wars anthem – pc speaker

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Really imperial march through the motherboard speaker:

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aptitude update ; aptitude install beep

And now execute this fun:

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beep -l 350 -f 392 -D 100 --new -l 350 -f 392 -D 100 --new -l 350 -f 392 -D 100 --new -l 250 -f 311.1 -D 100 --new -l 25 -f 466.2 -D 100 --new -l 350 -f 392 -D 100 --new -l 250 -f 311.1 -D 100 --new -l 25 -f 466.2 -D 100 --new -l 700 -f 392 -D 100 --new -l 350 -f 587.32 -D 100 --new -l 350 -f 587.32 -D 100 --new -l 350 -f 587.32 -D 100 --new -l 250 -f 622.26 -D 100 --new -l 25 -f 466.2 -D 100 --new -l 350 -f 369.99 -D 100 --new -l 250 -f 311.1 -D 100 --new -l 25 -f 466.2 -D 100 --new -l 700 -f 392 -D 100 --new -l 350 -f 784 -D 100 --new -l 250 -f 392 -D 100 --new -l 25 -f 392 -D 100 --new -l 350 -f 784 -D 100 --new -l 250 -f 739.98 -D 100 --new -l 25 -f 698.46 -D 100 --new -l 25 -f 659.26 -D 100 --new -l 25 -f 622.26 -D 100 --new -l 50 -f 659.26 -D 400 --new -l 25 -f 415.3 -D 200 --new -l 350 -f 554.36 -D 100 --new -l 250 -f 523.25 -D 100 --new -l 25 -f 493.88 -D 100 --new -l 25 -f 466.16 -D 100 --new -l 25 -f 440 -D 100 --new -l 50 -f 466.16 -D 400 --new -l 25 -f 311.13 -D 200 --new -l 350 -f 369.99 -D 100 --new -l 250 -f 311.13 -D 100 --new -l 25 -f 392 -D 100 --new -l 350 -f 466.16 -D 100 --new -l 250 -f 392 -D 100 --new -l 25 -f 466.16 -D 100 --new -l 700 -f 587.32 -D 100 --new -l 350 -f 784 -D 100 --new -l 250 -f 392 -D 100 --new -l 25 -f 392 -D 100 --new -l 350 -f 784 -D 100 --new -l 250 -f 739.98 -D 100 --new -l 25 -f 698.46 -D 100 --new -l 25 -f 659.26 -D 100 --new -l 25 -f 622.26 -D 100 --new -l 50 -f 659.26 -D 400 --new -l 25 -f 415.3 -D 200 --new -l 350 -f 554.36 -D 100 --new -l 250 -f 523.25 -D 100 --new -l 25 -f 493.88 -D 100 --new -l 25 -f 466.16 -D 100 --new -l 25 -f 440 -D 100 --new -l 50 -f 466.16 -D 400 --new -l 25 -f 311.13 -D 200 --new -l 350 -f 392 -D 100 --new -l 250 -f 311.13 -D 100 --new -l 25 -f 466.16 -D 100 --new -l 300 -f 392.00 -D 150 --new -l 250 -f 311.13 -D 100 --new -l 25 -f 466.16 -D 100 --new -l 700 -f 392

The real Windows 98 Source Code

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Windows 98 Source Code
Subject: Windows 98 Source Code
(not too new, but slightly improved)

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/*
TOP SECRET Microsoft(c) Code
Project: Chicago(tm)
Projected release-date: Summer 1998
*/
 
#include "win31.h"
#include "win95.h"
#include "evenmore.h"
#include "oldstuff.h"
#include "billrulz.h"
#define INSTALL = HARD
 
char make_prog_look_big[1600000];
 
void main()
{
while(!CRASHED)
{
display_copyright_message();
display_bill_rules_message();
do_nothing_loop();
if (first_time_installation)
{
make_50_megabyte_swapfile();
do_nothing_loop();
totally_screw_up_HPFS_file_system();
search_and_destroy_the_rest_of_OS/2();
hang_system();
}
write_something(anything);
display_copyright_message();
do_nothing_loop();
do_some_stuff();
if (still_not_crashed)
{
display_copyright_message();
do_nothing_loop();
basically_run_windows_3.1();
do_nothing_loop();
do_nothing_loop();
}
}
 
if (detect_cache())
disable_cache();
 
if (fast_cpu())
{
set_wait_states(lots);
set_mouse(speed, very_slow);
set_mouse(action, jumpy);
set_mouse(reaction, sometimes);
}
 
/* printf("Welcome to Windows 3.11"); */
/* printf("Welcome to Windows 95"); */
printf("Welcome to Windows 98");
if (system_ok())
{
bsod(random_err());
crash(to_dos_prompt);
}
else
system_memory = open("a:\swp0001.swp", O_CREATE);
 
while(something)
{
sleep(5);
get_user_input();
sleep(5);
act_on_user_input();
sleep(5);
}
create_general_protection_fault();
}

Random Futurama Quote From Shell

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Random Futurama from the shell :)

Random Futurama Quotes to fill the day. I just found this awesome site: http://commandlinefu.com. There are a lot of great ideas on this site, I recommend you take a few minutes and check it out. Major props to icco of commandlinefu.com:

Just issue the following command:

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curl -Is slashdot.org | egrep '^X-(F|B|L)' | cut -d \- -f 2

Here’s the example outputs:
Fry: Can I pull up my pants now?
Leela: My old life wasn’t as glamorous as my webpage made it look.
Bender: Ah crap, I’m some sort of robot!
Bender: Why would God think in binary?