Top funny source code comments

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/*
 * OK; before you read the following code know what I am trying to do.
 * I needed to get the list of child catagories from the root node so that
 * the root node didn't appear in the selection box. But for some stupid
 * fucking reason the stupid fucking DBA wont let me access the items using
 * indices and I instead have to use their stupid fucking Iterator
 * implementation. So there.
 */
$firstList = $this->getRootNode()->getChildren();
foreach ($firstList as $node)
{
    $nodes = $node->getChildren();
    break;                // wtf?
}

/* * OK; before you read the following code know what I am trying to do. * I needed to get the list of child catagories from the root node so that * the root node didn't appear in the selection box. But for some stupid * fucking reason the stupid fucking DBA wont let me access the items using * indices and I instead have to use their stupid fucking Iterator * implementation. So there. */ $firstList = $this->getRootNode()->getChildren(); foreach ($firstList as $node) { $nodes = $node->getChildren(); break; // wtf? }

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// if i ever see this again i'm going to start bringing guns to work

// if i ever see this again i'm going to start bringing guns to work

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//hack for ie browser (assuming that ie is a browser)

//hack for ie browser (assuming that ie is a browser)

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/**
* For the brave souls who get this far: You are the chosen ones,
* the valiant knights of programming who toil away, without rest,
* fixing our most awful code. To you, true saviors, kings of men,
* I say this: never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down,
* never gonna run around and desert you. Never gonna make you cry,
* never gonna say goodbye. Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you.
*/

/** * For the brave souls who get this far: You are the chosen ones, * the valiant knights of programming who toil away, without rest, * fixing our most awful code. To you, true saviors, kings of men, * I say this: never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, * never gonna run around and desert you. Never gonna make you cry, * never gonna say goodbye. Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you. */

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// 
// Dear maintainer:
// 
// Once you are done trying to 'optimize' this routine,
// and have realized what a terrible mistake that was,
// please increment the following counter as a warning
// to the next guy:
// 
// total_hours_wasted_here = 16
//

// // Dear maintainer: // // Once you are done trying to 'optimize' this routine, // and have realized what a terrible mistake that was, // please increment the following counter as a warning // to the next guy: // // total_hours_wasted_here = 16 //

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// TODO: Fix this. Fix what?

// TODO: Fix this. Fix what?

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// no comments for you
// it was hard to write
// so it should be hard to read

// no comments for you // it was hard to write // so it should be hard to read

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// I will give you two of my seventy-two virgins if you can fix this.

// I will give you two of my seventy-two virgins if you can fix this.

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options.BatchSize = 300; //Madness? THIS IS SPARTA!

options.BatchSize = 300; //Madness? THIS IS SPARTA!

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// I am not responsible of this code.
// They made me write it, against my will.

// I am not responsible of this code. // They made me write it, against my will.

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//Dear future me. Please forgive me.
//I can't even begin to express how sorry I am.

//Dear future me. Please forgive me. //I can't even begin to express how sorry I am.

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double penetration; // ouch

double penetration; // ouch

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# To understand recursion, see the bottom of this file.

# To understand recursion, see the bottom of this file.

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# To understand recursion, see the top of this file.

# To understand recursion, see the top of this file.

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//I am not sure why this works but it fixes the problem.

//I am not sure why this works but it fixes the problem.

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//somedev1 - 6/7/02 Adding temporary tracking of Logic screen
//somedev2 - 5/22/07 Temporary my ass

//somedev1 - 6/7/02 Adding temporary tracking of Logic screen //somedev2 - 5/22/07 Temporary my ass

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/*
 * You may think you know what the following code does.
 * But you dont. Trust me
 * Fiddle with me, and youll spend many a sleppless
 * night cursing the moment you thought you be clever 
 * enough to "optimize" the code below.
 * Now close this file and go play with something else.

/* * You may think you know what the following code does. * But you dont. Trust me * Fiddle with me, and youll spend many a sleppless * night cursing the moment you thought you be clever * enough to "optimize" the code below. * Now close this file and go play with something else.

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// drunk, fix later

// drunk, fix later

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// Magic. Do not touch.

// Magic. Do not touch.

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// I dedicate all this code, all my work, to my wife, Darlene, who will
// have to support me and our three children and the dog once it gets
// released into the public

// I dedicate all this code, all my work, to my wife, Darlene, who will // have to support me and our three children and the dog once it gets // released into the public

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Exception up = new Exception("Something is really wrong.");
throw up; //ha ha

Exception up = new Exception("Something is really wrong."); throw up; //ha ha

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//When I wrote this, only God and I understood that I was doing
//Now, God only knows

//When I wrote this, only God and I understood that I was doing //Now, God only knows